Tips to Choding – How to Avoid Talking to Girls in the Club.

I have mastered the Art of Choding. It's a fine art.

I can go out maybe three four times a week and not talk to any girls. I shall let you in on my secrets. How to avoid girls and yet maintain a social presence.

Basic Steps To Choding:

Step 1.Head straight to the bar + buy a drink

Step 2. Buy another drink! Two drinks is socially acceptable. More than two drinks in succession is excessive. You're here to NOT approach girls after all.. not to get drunk!

Step 3. Move away from the bar and find a place to stand. A wall near the dance floor is optimal. You want somewhere near the action to make it look like you are actively involved in the night whilst not actually participating. Perfect. A secluded seat in a dark corner won't do. Again, you're purpose here is to look active whilst not doing anything.

Step 4. If you're with a buddy or two its best not to talk too much or do anything fun looking that might attract attention to yourself. Stand close together (i.e. chode crystallise) and keep conversation and interactions minimal. Holding your drink up to your chest with one hand in the pocket is optional. Personally I find it doesn't really affect my choding experience.

Step 5. Stare out into the room and play 'spot the hot girl' or my other favourite 'I wish I was having fun like them'. 'Hate on other guys having fun' is another game to play whilst looking around the room.

Step 6. Go to the toilet. Much time can be spent in the toilet. Other than relieving yourself, you can style your hair, check your shirt. Make sure your hands are well and truly dry after washing them. And course you can discuss the current economic climate or day to day politics with the toilet attendant. Another great reason to go to the toilet is you can return back to the bar after ward and repeat steps 1, 2 and 3.

Step 7. Bonus for smokers: Go outside and smoke! You can stand on your own here and away from any large groups that might draw you in. Have a serious or deep thought look on your face. No one will bother you. It's a great way to pass the night before its time to go home. Non smokers with smoker friends can join them especially if it means not being left in the club alone.

Extra Advice:
During any of the steps above – You can do the tried and tested move of pulling out your phone and looking at it like you just received a text message. Great move. Sure, it doesn't take up much time but it subtly adds to the air of looking socially involved whilst not actually doing anything.

Avoiding eye contact at all times.
Important if you accidentally make eye contact with a girl.. break immediately! Look up or down, doesn't matter where but look as if something interesting has caught your attention in the light fixture or on the wall. Don't look back in the girls direction for a good 5minutes.

Happy Choding!!